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Goddess Relief Office

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Missing Resolutions:

#046: Jennifer Government Censorship Row

A new book, Jennifer Government, by Max Barry, has been causing quite a stir in governmental offices across @@[email protected]@.

The Debate

1. "At first I liked the book," says famous politician @@[email protected]@, "but then it clearly turned out to be just a mockery of our government! This is brainwashing our citizens into thinking that they're being governed badly. I suggest we hang, draw and quarter the author of this book and take satires off the shelves!"

2. "Don't be silly" says book reviewer @@[email protected]@, "it's a great book and you don't necessarily have to take the views inside seriously! If anything, there should be more satires. Maybe then we'll get the right people in charge of this messed-up country!"

#065: Should Martial Law be declared?

In response to increasing crime and violence across @@[email protected]@, the people are crying out for some degree of order.

The Debate

1. "Placing the military in charge of government affairs will be a disaster" says @@[email protected]@, as a random thug steals the shirt off their back. "You can't scare people straight! What we need is reform and respect for civil rights and our political freedom. You will have none of that under Martial Law."

2. "It’s not that way at all," argues army general @@[email protected]@. "The fact is, if we don't implement some sort of order this country will fall into a state of anarchy. I urge you to act strongly and proactively before it is too late. We must exercise complete control over the populace to restore peace and security. Martial Law must be implemented, curfews established, and elections temporarily suspended. Only by doing this can we hope to have a future for @@[email protected]@."

3. "Look, we do need more security, but we can't sacrifice our freedoms. Just increase the police force and call in the National Guard," says @@[email protected]@. "We need order, but Martial Law is too drastic and restricting".

#077: World To End, Or Possibly Just Mark Anniversary {One Year Anniversary issue, now an Easter Egg bonus}

Along with the rest of the world, the citizens of @@[email protected]@ have been stunned by the revelation of a small team of geophysical philosophers that the world turns exactly one year old today, as measured by what they call "RL units". (Congratulations on finding so many easter eggs. As a reward, here is the special issue our players got when NationStates turned one year old.)

The Debate

1. "Frankly, I saw this coming -- all the signs of the Apocalypse are here," says local community leader @@[email protected]@. "Moral standards are falling, the government is making increasingly erratic decisions, and people are neglecting their work to play bizarre political simulation games on the internet. There's only one sensible reaction: declaring a state of emergency, sending out the military, and shooting curfew breakers until the crisis is over."

2. "With respect, I don't think falling moral standards are the problem," says cubicle dweller and Slashdot karma god @@[email protected]@. "The issue is what's going to happen to our computers if the world clock ticks over from 0 to 1. This Y1 problem, as I call it, could be devastating for our IT industry unless it's tackled swiftly. And by tackled swiftly, I mean given a massive injection of public money."

3. "Why panic when you should be partying?" says @@[email protected]@, not completely soberly. "It's the first birthday of the world, man -- let people go nuts! If the government has a shred of decency, they'll order the cops to back off and let people really enjoy this incredible moment in history."

4. "This is neither a time for clamping down, nor, as they say, going off," says religious leader @@[email protected]@. "Rather, we should encourage people to reflect on the great mysteries of life. For example, what is God, to each of us? What is the true meaning of faith? And is the world around us reality, or are we instead living inside a simulated reality that exists only for the amusement of beings we cannot even imagine?"

5. "Well, I know what I'll be doing," says obscure author and Perl amateur Max Barry. "Sitting at home with a good book! Jennifer Government, for instance, is a cracking read. And I hear that some of the profits go into maintaining a cool web game. But of course, that's just my opinion. People should celebrate however they want."

#079: @@[email protected]@'s @@[email protected]@s: Going The Way Of The Dodo?

The @@[email protected]@ is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty @@[email protected]@-kabobs and @@[email protected]@burgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the @@[email protected]@.

The Debate

1. "This is an outrage!" shouts @@[email protected]@, outspoken member of the @@[email protected]@ Wilderness Protection Movement. "The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved @@[email protected]@s. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild @@[email protected]@s prancing freely in our forests?"

2. "Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?", scoffs @@[email protected]@, employee of @@[email protected]@ National Lumber, "If they're endangered it's 'cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clear-cut the forests @@[email protected]@s like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!"

3. "Nature is hardly a black and white issue," @@[email protected]@, a respected scholar, notes. "We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing @@[email protected]@ hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, @@[email protected]@s raised in captivity don't generally survive in the wild, but I'm sure we can find a way!"

#080: Easter Egg: Aliens Wish Peace/Trade Agreement

Aliens have landed in the fieds of @@[email protected]@ and they wish to trade and have peace.

The Debate

1. "Take us to your kneader!" says @@[email protected]@, alien lawyer. "We have heard wonders of @@[email protected]@'s pizza, and must have it. We are certain that a valuable trade route can be set up between our peoples. You could have our first born, for example." Your Secretary of Trade is shocked, "First Born?! That's slavery!" but quickly calms down upon discovery that their young are considered a great delicacy there. "You know, maybe we should open up trade with them?"

2. The Coalition of No ETs wants you to stay out of this. @@[email protected]@ says "Them darn aliens thingies are going to take advantage of the situation an kill us all! You must ban all trade with them. If they want my cattle, it will be over my dead body!"

#086: Save The @@[email protected]@

In desperation at the plight of the @@[email protected]@, which has virtually no natural habitat left in @@[email protected]@, a somewhat unorthodox environmental group demands that the few surviving specimens be domesticated and sold in pet stores.

The Debate

1. "We must act now, before the @@[email protected]@ is lost forever," said spokesperson @@[email protected]@ during a recent interview. "Domestication has ensured the survival of many endangered species in the past, and there really is no alternative left at this point. Besides, I'm sure many families would be thrilled to welcome a @@[email protected]@ into their homes."

2. "Sure, @@[email protected]@s might look cute and harmless to you," says retired hunting legend @@RANDOMNA[email protected]@, "but back in my day, they were the scourge on the nation. They carry a number of dangerous diseases, and you do NOT want to be bitten by one. My cousin was once bitten by a @@[email protected]@ and he's never been the same since! So now you want my grandchildren exposed to these things? The sooner they disappear completely, the better!"

#110: Too Low On Laws, Say Citizens

Various opinions have been brought to your attention over what your closest advisors are referring to as the 'anarchy situation'.

The Debate

1. "We've got to do something about this chaos!" yells General @@[email protected]@, firing a rifle at a band of armed looters. "There's no order in this country! No one is safe! We must rebuild the army and crack down on the militant groups ravaging our fair land! It's the only way we will ever return the cesspit of crime and depravity @@[email protected]@ has become to a land of law and order!"

2. Returning fire, both figuratively and literally, is @@[email protected]@, biker gang leader and anarchist: "That there's anyone claiming to be a government is ludicrous. People should be allowed to determine their own fate and survival without fear of breaking these inhibiting laws! All government officials should be removed at once if this country is ever to become well and truly 'equal'!"

3. "I've got a different idea," says @@[email protected]@, your minister of commerce, speaking from his hiding place under a desk. "Television viewers in more developed countries actually like seeing gratuitous violence. We could put up cameras in some of the more dangerous streets and sell the broadcasting rights to foreign networks. It could raise awareness of our situation, or at the very least rake in some @@[email protected]@s. The money could be used to fund a more organised police system to enforce the law."

#123: Now, Vat's Food For Thought

After recent leaps and bounds in biomedical research, scientists have revealed 'vat-grown tissue', provoking wild controversy over its possible medical - and culinary - uses.

The Debate

1. "There is absolutely nothing wrong that has been done here," claims one of the researchers, Dr. @@[email protected]@. "Vat-grown cloned tissue is extremely versatile when producing organs for transplantation, and knit my booties if it's not the tastiest and most nutritionally-balanced thing around! Beats me why anyone could be against it."

Result: human tissue is grown in vats as a delicacy as well as for transplants.

No change to trends. Tax drops 1 percent. Spending on Healthcare increase marginally (less than 1 percent)

2. "It's shocking and appalling that we could even consider adding vat-grown meat to the menu," says @@[email protected]@ III, the one-armed descendant of a long line of devout vegetarians. "But, on the other hand, we have been waiting for this major medical breakthrough for a long time. Imagine it - no more waiting lists for transplants! This will be of enormous benefit to the healthcare sector. I just think we should draw the line at eating the stuff."

3. "By all means, legalise vat-grown meat!" says @@[email protected]@, a masterchef. "Some people say that it's wrong to grow these creatures just to kill them, but that's ridiculous. Cattle breeders in other countries are doing it all the time! So get rid of this mad compulsory vegetarianism law because eating meat is not wrong. What's wrong is making them for spare bodyparts. Do I want a piece of me to have been grown? In a VAT? No. It's disgustin'. Besides, it'll raise the cost of my insurance."

4. "This is all abhorrent and aberrant!" declares @@RANDOMN[email protected]@, the High H'gradskas of the @@[email protected]@ Unorthodox Church. "You can't just create meat. It's against God's will, and you'll find that pretty much every other religion will back me up on this one. Living things were designed to be born. Or hatched. Or germinated. And then there's mitosis of course, but that's not the point - the point is that there are some things that Men were not meant to meddle with. We should keep well away from the whole cloning business altogether."

5. "That guy has no sense of vision." says @@[email protected]@, your Minister of Demographics. "Why waste this invention on healthcare or cookery when so much more could be done! Sterilise everybody and grow new people in vats! Disease will be a thing of the past! When they break, just grow new parts! It adopts the industrial method to population management, something we've needed for a long time. And now that we finally have the right technology, I say we do it!"

#129: Tribal Troubles

A society of primitive natives have been discovered in the rainforests of @@[email protected]@. Various people have approached you with ideas on how the situation should be dealt with.

The Debate

1. "This society should be protected from us!" says anthropologist and Star Trek nut, @@[email protected]@. "Have you ever heard of the prime directive? We must protect cultures from damaging modern influence! It is not our right to go and change the way these people live. Let them be."

2. "Who says we need to 'preserve' these tribes?" asks Timothy Burre, CEO of 'Loggers & Lumberjacks'. "We should be developing them instead. The local area should be opened up to big business and corporate interests - think of the benefits it will bring to the indigenous people! Medicine, education and modern wonders like the espresso machine! It's time these people were dragged kicking and screaming into the modern world, whether they like it or not."

3. "These savages are disgraceful," says @@[email protected]@, a senior member of the NRA. "I don't see why we should stoop so low as to do business with them. If they're on land we want then we should just take it. It's not even as if it's theirs after all, they just happen to be living there. These people are no better than animals, I say we allow citizens to shoot the lot of them! It'll knock down two birds with one stone!"

4. "The matter is not what we do to this culture, it is whether or not the people who belong to this culture actually want to be a part of that culture!" says @@[email protected]@, a student sociologist. "We must stop knocking down rainforests so that the older members of the tribes can stay, yet allow the younger and more idealistic members leave if they wish and join civilisation! Let us make contact and give them the choice! Everyone wins! Except the wood companies o' course."

#139: Drug Debate Hits The Streets

Tens of thousands of citizens have taken to the streets demanding the right to smoke whatever they want, wherever they want.

The Debate

1. "Ever since smoking was banned, I've been a gibbering wreck," laments @@[email protected]@, handing you a cup of strange-smelling tea. "You just don't understand - I need to smoke! And sometimes I need to roll a little bit more than tobacco. It's not a luxury. In a place as depressing as @@[email protected]@, we should at least be able to have some escape. Even if it does mean escaping to a world full of dancing badgers, talking mushrooms and luminous colours. So please, allow us a bit more freedom to get high."

2. "Things are fine just the way they are," says Detective @@[email protected]@ of the Narcotics Squad. "The laws just need better enforcement - we need harsher punishments, better border controls, more police officers, and some education for youngsters, telling them to just say 'no'. Do you know how many times I've had to bring kids into rehabilitation clinics? Do you know how many kids out there are getting lung cancer? It's heartbreaking, it really is. We need some more support from the government if we are to reach our goals."

3. "Yo mate, c'mon, it's not just about the crops," moans a grimy, emaciated man, as he sits slumped on the ground and tugs at your trouser leg. "Some of us like other stuff, ya know, ain't fair if we can't hit off that. You gotta decr- decrimi- just make everything OK, yeah? C'mon, I need just one more hit. Just one more. I can handle it man, I CAN HANDLE IT!"

Helpers:

The Thinker PF 54, E 48, CR 47

Tax 76%

Env 20.8, SP 7.9, Edu 17.3, Admin 17.8, WF 14.4. Spi 6.4, Transport 6.9, HC 5.9, Ind 2.5

Big Bay Island E 0, PF 5, CR 65

Tax 100%

Edu 17.5, SP 14.1, Edu 17.0, LO 3.2, Admin 12.5, WF 14.7, Def 5.6, Transport 6.9, HC 8.5

Haley Ramen E 100, PF 87, CR 77

Tax 98%

Env 8.3, SP 11.0, Edu 21.9, Admin 3.5, WF 10.5, Def 20.5, Transport 5.5, HC 5.5, Ind 13.2

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#146: Evolution: Truth Or Witchcraft?

Religious and scientific leaders have clashed recently over the teaching of evolution in public schools.

The Debate

1. "Ach, good to see you haff made it here in one piece," says evil doctor @@[email protected]@ as you wake up strapped to a chair in a secret lab. "As you can see from my brilliant experiments, science has now solved zer problems of zer vorld und ve need nothink else! I propose zat ve do AVAY vith zer teachink of silly thinks like religion und concentrate on zer FACTS! For a start, ve must teach our children where ve came from. Ve shouldn't be teaching anythink that hasn't been scientifically proven - er - accounted for, I mean. Igor, release our guest - I haff a monkey to show him..."

2. "That's a LIE, son, we come from the great meteor of truth!" yells firebrand preacher Pastor Richards, kicking down your door. "We cannot allow their transgressions against the HOLY truth to continue! All the heathens should be thankful we don't burn them at the stake for their devilry! This nation's true and just government must ban the filth and corruption being spread bah these WICKED men!"

3. "What I'm wondering is why we need to take sides on this," says student @@[email protected]@. "After all, it's only a theory. An unproven theory. Technically. It's not like it has any bearing on real life - let's just allow the biologists to teach evolution but emphasise that it's only a theory, but also make them teach other theories such as creationism. Heck, we can tell them that crackpot theory that we're all descended from @@[email protected]@s too! Then everyone goes away happy."

4. "Stop bickering already!" says @@[email protected]@, Minister of Education. "I say that you can have your cake and eat it, too. Education should be split if it stops this debate. The parents can send their children to secular schools or religious schools, based on what they want their kids to hear. It's expensive, certainly, but the education budget has been needing boosting for ages anyway."

#170: Deserts Devouring @@[email protected]@'s Countryside

Due to desertification, the transition of habitable land to desert as a result of overcultivation and the increasing degradation of the environment, much of @@[email protected]@'s once-green rural areas are turning into barren, rocky deserts.

The Debate

1. "This is a disaster," wails @@[email protected]@, your Minister of the Environment. "We've been too lax on letting the agriculture sector overgraze and overcrop our lands and now we're paying the price. There needs to be some serious cutback on what these companies are allowed to do, or before you know it we're going to be scaling sand dunes on the way to work."

2. "'Ey there, you stupid townie, what about us?" shouts Farmer's Union Leader @@[email protected]@, waving a pitchfork from atop a combine harvester parked outside. "We's just goin' t' be tole we're out of a job? Tha' best way t' goes about this is t' promote stuff like that there recyclin', crop rotatin', an' biodiversity, and t' gives us tha' subsidies we needs t' work in 'armony wi' mother nature. Desertification ain't no irreversible thing, an' claimin' tha' land back will be slow and bloody expensive, by thunder. But oi'm sure tha' taxpayers will be more than 'appy t' aid us 'umble farmers in our plight, and maybe gives us a little more say in things in future, so's this can't 'appen again."

3. "Yee-haw, these here deserts are the greatest thang that's happened in YARS!" drawls noted cowboy Hamish McGraw, twirling his shootin' irons. "This is just what @@[email protected]@ needs! Just git a stagecoach out har an tha' foreign types will come a-flockin,' y'all see if ah'm wrong! We don't need no fundin' f' tha' environment! Them's farmers c'n jus' git minin' fer GOLD!"

#179: Mad @@[email protected]@ Disease Outbreak!

Tens of thousands of @@[email protected]@s all over @@[email protected]@ have been found to have contracted the fatal and highly contagious Mad @@[email protected]@ Disease, destroying livestock and causing widespread panic after evidence that the disease is transmissible to your citizens was released.

The Debate

1. "I'm afraid this is terrible news," says @@[email protected]@, your Minister of Dreaded Lurgies. "All these animals must be culled at once to prevent contamination of our foodstocks and to stop the disease from spreading to citizens! It'll be a bit of a blow for the food industries, what with all their livelihood being destroyed, but it's the only way!"

2. "We've got to look at this in the long term," says @@[email protected]@, a rustic farmer. "How will we farmers survive when we've got nothin' to sell? I'd suggest puttin' more tax @@[email protected]@s into the whatjamacallit... medical research thingy so we can finds a cure, 'cos if we don't it'll just come around again and we'll all be in the same sticky mess. In the meanwhile, we should just hold the fort if you know what I mean. Import some @@[email protected]@s from abroad, no-one need know!"

3. "You call that an answer to short-term problems?" asks @@[email protected]@, a likewise rustic farmer. "It can take months and months to find a vaccine you know! The meat industry will still take a hit and I jus' don't have the resources to see me and me kids through this kind of financial upheaval. I reckon the government folks should go ahead with the culling idea and compensate us farmers for our losses! That's a lot cheaper than putting all our money into tests that most likely won't work don't you think?"

4. "Wait a minute!" interrupts @@[email protected]@, a querimonious taxpayer. "Why do I have to pay a burden because of these pointless animals? I suggest we do nothing, let them die off... or just sell them. I mean, it's a bit much when the government starts saying what we can or cannot put in our refridgerators isn't it?"

#193: Robots Leaving Workers Jobless

Amidst a growing level of unemployment, thousands of workers have been fired and then replaced by automatic systems. They have petitioned you to intervene.

The Debate

1. "It's just sickening! Do you know how long it took most of us to get a decent, 'stable' job?" shouts @@[email protected]@, president of the @@[email protected]@ Labour Alliance, before dramatically sweeping your personal belongings off your desk. "And now we're losing our livelihoods to robots so that while our families starve, the corporations get even richer! Don't let the capitalist pigs blind you! This practice must be banned!"

2. "Hey, I've got a job to keep up too, you know," says @@[email protected]@, a factory manager. "If I don't think of new ways of keeping costs down, the investors will go elsewhere. It's my neck on the line as much as anyone else's, even if I do have much more money. Besides, it's business, and no-one ought to be able to say who - or what - I can hire."

3. "This could be resolved if instead of replacing workers with machines, we added machines to workers!" enthuses @@[email protected]@, CEO of Mondas Ltd. "By replacing the body parts with stronger, better, metal prostheses, we can make the best industrial workers - literally - in the world! Imagine a shelver who can shift whole crates with just one arm! One finger! So let's hear no more of this deplorable 'replacing workers with machines' idea and look to the future!"

4. "You can't allow that!" gasps @@[email protected]@, a manual labourer. "If that happens, only the people with cyber limbs will get jobs! And the corporations will contract you into having the surgery if you want to have one! No thank you! We should go back to the grass roots of industry when all the machines weren't computerised and workers were the salt of the earth! Then maybe we'd see a bit more appreciation! And cash!"

#206: @@[email protected]@ Narrowly Misses Nuclear Accident

When everyone in a city of northern @@[email protected]@ coincidentally flushed their toilets at the same time, it nearly caused a meltdown at the local nuclear power plant. Now, protesters have taken to the streets over the possible safety hazards of such structures.

The Debate

1. "These plants are a constant danger to our environment and our way of life! They must be banned!" shouts @@[email protected]@, pointing dramatically at the sky. "Day by day they churn radiation into our air and into our water! They dump toxic waste in our soil and do, ooh, terrible things! Yes, miners, nuclear engineers, scientists, et cetera will lose their jobs and electrical power prices will soar, but it's worth it to know my town isn't going to suddenly become a glowing crater."

2. "This is being blown way, way out of proportion," says @@[email protected]@, the power plant's supervisor. "Nuclear power is one of, if not the, safest sources of electrical power. This was an isolated incident; the fact that it DID happen is enough to make me believe pigs are going to start sprouting wings! All these over-the-top safety rules are just eating away at the budget anyway. Give us some slack, eh? I can promise you that this will never, ever, ever happen again. Probably."

3. "I agree that this isn't likely to ever happen again," says Catherine Gratwick, the leader of a neighbouring nation. "But cutting down on safety is just a bad idea. If your government is in need of the cash then how about you let my nation outsource our power plants to you? It's simple: we pay you money to run power plants under our supervision in your nation that will power my country. It'll lower your unemployment rates, it'll boost your economy, it will truly show that your nation is part of modern times. Think about it for a moment."

4. "Uh... you do realise she's just saying this because she doesn't want a nuclear disaster happening on her turf, right?" says @@[email protected]@, one of your elite circle of international spies. "What I suggest is that we do the same thing - pay some poorer country to take on our nuclear power plants. It's great! We get all the benefits of nuclear power with none of the risks! The only problem is the cost, but we can take that out of the education budget, it's bloated enough as it is."

5. "I think we simply need to be more careful," says @@[email protected]@, your Minister of Safety. "There may be an issue with these plants, which can only be solved by upgrading to the latest state-of-the-art safety systems. There may be an issue with the employees which can only be solved by stringent training and only hiring the best of the best. I'm not going to lie to you, it will be very expensive, but the people need a stable supply of electricity, not worries of mutated radioactive monsters eating people's brains. Seriously."

#250: Recession, Depression, And Deficit

@@[email protected]@ faces one of its most serious financial crises in history. @@[email protected]@'s stock market has been steadily falling for months, the markets are now divesting and a general sell out spree is feared by analysts.

The Debate

1. "We've got to act decisively, and quickly," says @@[email protected]@, a columnist for the Financial Times. "Only a rush of public investment can save us from a depression. We need dams, roads, and absurdly large ships to inject new capital into the economy and put a bit of wind in the private sector's sails."

2. "To spend government money saving unprofitable companies is ludicrous and in denial of the facts," objects @@[email protected]@, CFO of Chairs 'n' Stuff PLC. "They screwed up! They don't deserve to survive! What we need is a new round of tax breaks for the most effective enterprises, like good old Chairs 'n' Stuff - if you ever need your upholstery repaired, let us know won't you? Anyway, tax breaks will attract new investors and businesses. Trust me, large-scale investment in the middle of a recession is madness. We need to stop the deficit, not increase it."

3. "Yes, let's just ignore the fact that thousands of people would lose their jobs while the remaining companies glorify in their newfound monopolies," snipes @@[email protected]@, owner of an independent business. "The stock market's failing because it's abused and manipulated by greedy investors only out to make an easy profit. Who cares if you're lying and cheating to get it, right? Hmph! The financial market of @@[email protected]@'s been riddled with insider trading and who knows what else for years! if the government doesn't put an end to it now then the economy will never bounce back."

4. "It's not the corporations who are to blame! It's YOU," declares trade unionist @@[email protected]@, pointing at you dramatically. "It's all of us. We've been indulging in a self-destructive economic system for too long, always taking and never giving back. Capitalism has failed. What we must do as concerned citizens is nationalise the entire economic infrastructure and control the inflation by giving the government authority to set commodity prices."

5. "Deregulation isn't the problem - quite the opposite," suggests @@[email protected]@, representative of a consortium of banks and major corporations. "Government checks and balances and competition laws have been the grasping stranglehold on the economy's throat for far too long. Do you really think corporations would allow the economy to suffer like this if it had full control? No, it would not. It is bad for business and what's bad for business needs to be removed. If you want this nation to survive, the market must be freed from these shackles."

#350: Queasy Cuisine

After @@[email protected]@'s cuisine was rated dead last in a survey conducted by the world's best taste-testers, offended gastronomists have demanded a "national dish" to champion the country's food culture.

The Debate

1. "C'est terrible" bemoans Head Chef @@[email protected]@ of the Saveloy Grande Hotel. "Too many youngsters are eating zis awful fast food. Ze government must encourage haute cuisine to demonstrate to ze world that @@[email protected]@ is a country of beauty, love, and fine cooking. I suggest sautéed escargots avec garlic butter. Here - try one. Bon appétit!"

2. "What's wrong with fast food?" asks acned MaxiDonalds server @@[email protected]@ as he scratches his nose. "Get a Maxi-sized triple cheeseburger and fries with soda for just five Units. Quick, cheap and tasty - that's why our customers love us. Next please!"

3. "Mornin'" calls out farmer @@[email protected]@, leading a cow into your office. "What do we care if some parboiled foreigners don't like our food? There's nothing better than good old-fashioned @@[email protected]@-grown produce, cooked just the way me ol' ma would." Drawing a stun-gun and a cleaver from his dungarees, he continues, "Fancy a steak?"

4. "A good serving of sprouts is all I ever needed to grow up strong and healthy" says school dinner-lady @@[email protected]@. Dolloping a mound of grey slop onto your plate, she continues, "Mashed cauliflower. The kids love it, and there's nothing better for growing the hair on your chest. Now eat it all up!"

5. A rancid stench precedes @@[email protected]@ who slaps a foul-smelling plate of decayed @@[email protected]@n Wolf liver diced with broiled asparagus and fermented pig's milk on your desk. "Some may call our customary food 'not with the times' or even 'nauseating', but what do they know? Show your love for @@[email protected]@'s culinary heritage, and tuck in."

6. "There, there" soothes your PA @@[email protected]@, proffering a bucket. "Our cuisine could use work, but there's so many dishes we'd have to fix… Oh, I know! You can't go wrong with pasta. Why not have everyone eat pasta? Only pasta." A plate of linguine appears on your desk.

#356: @@[email protected]@ In The Time Of Cholera

Reports of cholera deaths have skyrocketed due to the sewage contaminating @@[email protected]@'s rivers.

The Debate

1. "People are dropping like flies out here!" cries Doctor @@[email protected]@, whose disheveled appearance suggests that the flies are actually doing quite well. "This is all the fault of the corrupt, uncaring sewage companies that dump waste into our rivers. We need to enforce harsher environmental regulations and make them pay to clean up the mess they created!"

2. "We don't pump our water from the sea," suggests @@[email protected]@, night shift manager at @@[email protected]@ Water & Utility. "Why not just put our waste on barges and dump it far out in international waters? We at @@[email protected]@W&U will be pumping nice clean water again, and the waste will never be a problem for anyone but foreigners, so it's win-win."

Isabella hime E98, CR 21, PF 1

Tax 99%

Env 4.7, Social 2.8, Edu 4.4, LO 25.9, Admin 10.7, WF 1.8, Def 41.7, PT 0.8, HC 0.9, Ind 6.2

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Some of these I get all the time! Even had that Easter egg one twice now..

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You now have a lot of TGs from nations of mine on Goddess Relief Office and Anime Daisuki! got a lot of unknown issues today..

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Missing Resolutions:

#079: @@[email protected]@'s @@[email protected]@s: Going The Way Of The Dodo?

The @@[email protected]@ is on the brink of extinction, largely due to people hunting them down for tasty @@[email protected]@-kabobs and @@[email protected]@burgers, and as ecological disaster looms, various factions are all calling for what they feel should be done about the @@[email protected]@.

The Debate

1. "This is an outrage!" shouts @@[email protected]@, outspoken member of the @@[email protected]@ Wilderness Protection Movement. "The government has to put a stop to the out of control hunting of our beloved @@[email protected]@s. Do you want our children and grandchildren to miss witnessing the spectacle of wild @@[email protected]@s prancing freely in our forests?"

2. "Who cares what happens to some dumb wild pest?", scoffs @@[email protected]@, employee of @@[email protected]@ National Lumber, "If they're endangered it's 'cause they were too weak to adapt. They probably deserve to be killed off. With them out of the way, we could clear-cut the forests @@[email protected]@s like to hide in, which would really boost the economy through the timber industry!"

3. "Nature is hardly a black and white issue," @@[email protected]@, a respected scholar, notes. "We should start a breeding program to help these creatures recover their numbers. We can display them in captivity, and gradually release them into the wild. Couple it with limiting, but not abolishing @@[email protected]@ hunting, and everyone benefits. Of course, @@[email protected]@s raised in captivity don't generally survive in the wild, but I'm sure we can find a way!"

Helpers:

The Thinker PF 54, E 48, CR 47

Tax 76%

Env 20.8, SP 7.9, Edu 17.3, Admin 17.8, WF 14.4. Spi 6.4, Transport 6.9, HC 5.9, Ind 2.5

Big Bay Island E 0, PF 5, CR 65

Tax 100%

Edu 17.5, SP 14.1, Edu 17.0, LO 3.2, Admin 12.5, WF 14.7, Def 5.6, Transport 6.9, HC 8.5

Haley Ramen E 100, PF 87, CR 77

Tax 98%

Env 8.3, SP 11.0, Edu 21.9, Admin 3.5, WF 10.5, Def 20.5, Transport 5.5, HC 5.5, Ind 13.2

I just got the issue #79. I'll hold off answering this if it's still needed. Please let me know which response you'd like.

Since this is an inactive topic, I'll give 2 days for a reply, but if no response is given by Tuesday evening 10 PM -8 GMT (or Pacific time if in the USA,) I will answer the reply as my country would see fit.

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